Annie’s son was 11 years old when she discreetly started noticing him talking to himself. At first, it came to her as a fearful assumption of anything paranormal or a major psychotic issue. She went to a psychologist and it was then when she was relieved and told that it was rather a good indication of maturity. There are about 55% people in this world who assert that they talk to themselves verbally or “just in the head”.
“Yes! Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert’s advice.”
This quotation remains a prime one for a lot of people not just for its humorous aphorism but also the psychological certainty behind it. People who talk to themselves tend to develop a certain momentum in their ability of decision making not only over their major problems but also those little quickie ones that take place just about every day. Bathroom mirrors, empty streets and elevators are some of the most conventional places, but some people who stand at a much advanced level do not temporize when a clever narration about their latest story hits them while standing inside a packed subway train. Talking to yourself not only relieves the loneliness, it may also make you smarter. It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you’re contemplating. There’s just one proviso: You become smarter only if you speak respectfully to yourself.
We’re all familiar with the character of Dexter Morgan in the prominent crime-psych TV series “Dexter” and not to mention we’re most overwhelmed when he speaks to himself through his own voice in his head that characteristically and rationally puts everything around him at its place so he can comprehend it. Be it Dexter Morgan or Annie’s 11 years old son, when they talk to themselves about anything they both experience the same analogical contentment. They both place their muddles before them, fragment them into pieces, analyzing each one verbally and mentally before finally arriving to a conclusion. It’s much straight-forward and quick as it sounds complex.
Personal Monologue is the term I like to use while explaining the art of talking to myself. It’s usually used as meat in theaters but it sure works as an honest assistant in an individual’s personal life. Most people aren’t going to have the foggiest notion about the little actions you take that serve you well. If you think you deserve a “Good Job!” for it, give it to yourself. Compliments make the best of it. Choices aren’t easy. Indeed, because they’re so difficult, we often don’t really make a choice; we respond impulsively taking in accordance, our habit and our anxiety towards that particular choice. What makes it effective and interesting is when you create a dialogue with yourself so that you can hear what you think. “I want to stay because of x but I want to go because of y, OK! Let’s see. I’m clearly ambivalent”. Nevertheless, one needs to figure out which decision to make. A little “We need to talk” session can assist you in making a commendable compromise or a workable conciliation between your wants, your needs and other people’s expectations.
There have been numerous researches conducted by experimental psychologists that have resulted in people progressing in cognitive decision making and conquering self-defeating patterns of behavior. So the next time you’re off to an interview or stuck in a situation you don’t want to be, let your mind speak to you and fill you in with all the details and favorable suggestions so you can figure out what to do or say next. Whether you’re living by yourself or living with others, you’re always living with yourself so take some time, look in the mirror, stare in those tired eyes of yours and say something.